So this isn’t the normal kind of post that I write, but I have a lot on my mind and I need to get at least one of those things off of it in a productive way. In the last year or so, I have been really emotional when it comes to my little sister. Little E just turned 13 in February so that means she’s nine years younger than me…nine! You would think with such a large gap between us that we would get along pretty well. That was not the case growing up. At first, we got along well, but she grew up in a much different dynamic than I did. We weren’t very well off when I was younger, but I never went without. We moved four times at least before I was my sisters age and rented most of the places we lived in. I would never say that I had a tough life because I have amazing family and friends who count as family who have always supported us. It was just much different from my sister’s.
I used to think that she was a brat and I don’t think I was very nice to her when we lived together. I will be the first to admit that I’m pretty critical of others because that’s how I am with myself. I grew up quickly so she should too. I never wanted that giant stuffed banana so she shouldn’t either. (That was a real story by the way…) After I moved out of the house to go to college, I think my sister grew up a little bit. She’s still the little sister, but now it’s almost like she’s an only child because she’s the only one in the house. She entertains herself, puts her dishes in the sink, and practices her trumpet. She is a national medal winner for gymnastics and she’s so smart. I think about her every day and I literally think that I would die of heartbreak if something happened to her. Every time I read an article about being an older sister or thinking about a little sister, I burst into tears. And I’m not an emotional person, but I really can’t read these in public because I know I’ll start crying!
I recently found out about a friend’s brother who passed away unexpectedly in a car accident, and I don’t know how they are handling life so well. It is truly heartbreaking when one is taken from us too soon, but you have to be strong and carry on. Do everything for those who have and who still love you. I work hard so that my sister will have a good role model. I work hard because I know my grandpa is watching me from heaven and thinking, “Good work Miss Al.”
As I make the next transition from undergrad to law school, I’ll need this motivation every single day to get me through. It’s tough to stay focused on what matters, like friends and family and little sisters, but it’s all for a greater good. My relationship with my sister is driving me to become successful so that she can be and feel like an empowered woman.